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The Gatecrasher

The drunken yob, who, passing by your house, seeing all the cars outside, the lights on yet all the curtains still open and hearing the music, staggers up to your door and says "I'm a friend of Pete!" is not welcome anywhere. However the more sophisticated Gatecrasher is much sought-after. All the best parties have at least one desirable Gatecrasher. This person does their homework: wears the appropriate clothing, brings along some up-market spirits and gains entrance with the more subtle, and less contestable, "Well, I thought I'd never find it, I think I took a left where you had said right." Once in, the Gatecrasher is quite prepared to put in some effort in return for an evening's hospitality. They will chat to even the most boring guests, and may even help to sort out an unstable couple's marital problems with a bit of skilled counselling. It is rumoured that a famous cabinet minister's recent political demise was not caused by a leaked letter, but by the staging of a party which was not appropriately gatecrashed.