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The Kitchener

Immortalized in the classic eighties pop song is the person whom you will always find in the kitchen at parties, known to Peoplespotters as the Kitchener. This person spends about half an hour leaning backwards onto the fridge engaged in earnest conversation with other Kitcheners. After half an hour the host comes in wanting something out of the fridge, so the Kitchener moves on to the oven. The next half hour stint is either the washing machine or the kitchen unit, or occasionally they might try to balance on the flip-top bin. Most of us only see Kitcheners when we go to re-fill our glasses from time to time. It is then that we notice that while the rest of us are talking about the weather, sport, and the host's wallpaper, the Kitcheners are deeply engrossed in aspects of philosophy and politics. They do not speak to you, their only acknowledgement of your presence being a slight shift towards the freezer to allow you access to the wine bottle. Kitcheners are a clan unto themselves, and upon finding like-minded souls gathered near the sink have usually established each others' political sympathies before their first names.