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Book: Plastic Viking Helmets
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The Rustler
The Rustler is well known to cinema audiences, but some sub-species can be found in domestic settings. The Rustler buys confectionary using a decibel measuring device, to ensure that the wrappings, at least two layers, are sufficiently loud to be heard ten metres away. It is not just a matter of selecting the correct items, since the Rustler has to spend many lonely hours practising before airing a new product in public. Other favourite foods have not only loud wrapping, but also require constant, noisy sucking for at least ten minutes. Favourite films: Spaghetti Westerns (with long silences).